Today, I reconnected with an old friend. It’s been months since I allowed myself any real social connection. I’ve been on what I call a retreat—time spent in solitude, away from distractions, and the noise of the world. In this quiet space, I’ve been learning to understand myself better.

As we talked about life, love, and relationships, we both found ourselves reflecting on a truth we now share: we no longer want to settle. There’s a difference—an important one—between companionship and a deeper connection.

Companionship is easy to find. It’s the presence of someone—anyone—who fills the silence and offers a surface-level comfort. It’s having someone around just so you don’t feel alone. It’s a distraction from the parts of yourself you don’t want to face. It’s settling, because the alternative—being alone—feels uncomfortable.

But a deeper connection? That’s rare. It’s not about having someone beside you; it’s about having someone with you, truly. A person who sees you for who you are, who respects your essence, who aligns with your values and intentions. It’s about being able to sit in silence with someone and still feel understood. It’s the difference between sharing space and sharing your soul.

We realized that many people enter relationships out of fear—the fear of loneliness, of emptiness, of not being wanted. But fear isn’t love. And companionship without connection leaves you just as alone, perhaps even lonelier, because it keeps you from discovering the richness of being whole on your own.

This conversation made me appreciate how far I’ve come. I used to believe that love meant never being alone, that I needed someone’s presence to feel complete. But now, I know better. I don’t fear being alone anymore. I’ve found a certain peace in solitude, and from this place, I can see what truly matters.

A deeper connection doesn’t come from a need to fill a void. It comes when two people who are already whole find each other, not to complete one another, but to grow together. It’s not about settling for someone who’s simply there. It’s about choosing someone who touches you on a level that companionship never could.

I’m learning to honor the most important relationship I’ll ever have: the one with myself.

Because I deserve more than just companionship. I deserve a connection that feels like coming home.