It’s Saturday, my lazy day—a rare break after a week full of responsibilities, cleaning, and trying to find time for myself. Today, I decided to do nothing but let myself rest, sit back, and enjoy the quietness of an unplanned day. Yet, while my body is ready to relax, my mind seems to have other plans. Thoughts from the past keep creeping in, and I find myself reflecting on relationships and closures. I remember a conversation I had recently about closure—how tempting it is when an ex comes back into our lives and how difficult it can be to decide whether to go back or to move forward.
That conversation inspired me to write an article about it. Sometimes, in the stillness of a lazy Saturday, it’s easy for the past to feel close, almost within reach. When someone reappears, we often feel tempted to revisit old memories, imagining that things could be different this time. But reflection, real reflection, is about recognizing what is best for ourselves and having the courage to find true closure—not by rekindling old flames, but by learning to let go and move on.
Questions to Reflect On:
- Did You Feel Truly Valued and Important?
Reflecting on the relationship, did you feel like a significant part of their life, or were you constantly left questioning your worth to them? Feeling genuinely valued should never be uncertain or conditional. - Were Your Boundaries Honored?
Did they respect your needs and personal limits, or were your boundaries repeatedly pushed aside? A healthy relationship requires mutual respect, including respecting each other’s boundaries and needs. - Did They Take Responsibility for Their Actions?
Did they acknowledge their mistakes and work on them, or did they often shift the blame to you? Taking responsibility for one’s actions is crucial for any meaningful and lasting growth. - Were Your Feelings Validated?
Did they genuinely care about how you felt, or did they make your feelings seem unimportant or overreactive? A loving relationship involves actively listening and validating each other’s emotions. - Did They Bring Positivity to Your Life?
Did their presence enhance your happiness, or did you often feel emotionally drained? A healthy relationship should add joy, positivity, and value, not complicate your life or bring negativity. - Was There Consistency in Their Behavior?
Could you trust their words and actions, or was it a roller coaster ride that left you feeling uncertain? Consistency creates a sense of security, without which love struggles to thrive. - Did You Feel Safe With Them?
Did you feel emotionally and mentally safe, or did you always have your guard up? True love is a safe space to be vulnerable, without fear of judgment or rejection. - Did You Feel Like You Could Be Yourself?
Did you have to change or hold back parts of who you are to make them happy? Authentic love allows you to be your full, true self without fear of rejection. - Did They Support Your Dreams and Ambitions?
Were they your cheerleader, encouraging you to follow your passions, or did they belittle your aspirations? A supportive partner inspires growth and believes in your potential. - Did They Respect Your Independence?
Did they respect your need for personal time and space, or did they want your lives to completely revolve around each other? Balancing closeness with individuality is essential for a healthy relationship. - Did They Prioritize Communication?
Did they make an effort to communicate openly and resolve issues, or did they shut down? Open, honest communication builds trust and intimacy between partners. - Did They Celebrate Your Wins?
Did they genuinely celebrate your successes, no matter how big or small, or did they seem indifferent or jealous? A loving partner takes pride in your happiness and growth. - Did They Make You Feel Heard?
Did they actively listen, or did you often feel dismissed or ignored? Feeling heard is crucial for emotional intimacy and growth. - Did You Feel Like a Priority?
Were you an essential part of their life, or just an afterthought? Feeling like a priority means knowing you’re valued and loved without question. - Did They Appreciate Your Efforts?
Did they acknowledge and appreciate the things you did for them, or did they take you for granted? Gratitude keeps love fresh and meaningful. - Did They Make You Feel Beautiful and Loved?
Did they show their attraction and express their love often, or were you left doubting your worth? Feeling loved and appreciated is a basic need in any romantic relationship. - Did They Handle Conflict With Care?
Did they try to understand you during conflicts, or did they resort to blaming, yelling, or shutting down? The way someone handles conflict can reveal their willingness to grow with you. - Did They Encourage Your Relationships With Others?
Did they support your friendships and family connections, or did they isolate you from your loved ones? A healthy partner encourages outside relationships rather than limiting them. - Did They Make You Feel Secure?
Did they give you confidence in the future of your relationship, or did you always question where you stood? Feeling secure is vital to emotional well-being in love. - Did You Feel Peace in the Relationship?
Were the peaceful moments frequent, or did anxiety and uncertainty dominate? Love should bring peace, even when it’s not perfect. - Did They Make Efforts to Truly Know You?
Did they genuinely try to understand your feelings, quirks, and passions? A real connection comes from a partner wanting to understand you deeply. - Did They Apologize When They Were Wrong?
Did they own their mistakes, or did they always justify their actions? Genuine apologies and efforts to do better are essential for growth. - Did You Feel Supported Emotionally?
When you needed comfort, were they there for you, or did you feel alone even when you were together? Emotional support is a fundamental part of any loving relationship. - Did They Respect Your Time?
Did they value the time you spent together, or did they treat your availability as something to take for granted? Time is valuable, and respecting each other’s time is a form of love. - Did They Bring Out the Best in You?
Did they inspire you to grow and flourish, or did they often leave you feeling smaller or inadequate? A great partner helps you see the best version of yourself. - Did You Feel Emotionally Exhausted?
Did the relationship make you feel drained and tired, or did it energize you and bring you joy? Love should fill you with positive energy, not deplete you. - Did You Feel Like You Could Trust Them?
Was trust a strong foundation of your relationship, or were you constantly left wondering if they were being honest? Trust is everything in a relationship. - Did They Show Gratitude?
Were they thankful for what you did for them, or did they act entitled to your efforts? Gratitude makes all the difference in how appreciated you feel. - Did They Make You Feel Seen?
Did they notice the little things, your moods, and the small efforts, or did they seem to overlook the details of who you are? Feeling seen makes you feel important and valued. - Could You Be Open Without Fear?
Were you able to communicate your needs, fears, and desires freely, or did you find yourself holding back, worried that expressing yourself would lead to arguments, distance, or judgment? In a healthy relationship, emotional safety is the foundation for growth. Being able to express who you truly are—including your fears, vulnerabilities, and hopes—should feel comfortable, not like stepping into a battlefield. True intimacy blossoms in an environment where both partners feel secure enough to be open and raw, without fearing the consequences.
Choosing to Walk Away
Walking away from someone who cannot meet your needs is one of the bravest decisions you can make. It doesn’t mean they are a bad person, but perhaps they’re just not the right person for you. It takes courage to choose yourself, to honor what your heart truly deserves. We all deserve love that accepts us unconditionally—not love that requires us to constantly negotiate, beg, or prove our worth. Letting go of a relationship that no longer serves you may be painful, but it opens the door to finding the love that truly fulfills you.
Grieving the loss of a relationship that isn’t right for you is an act of self-respect. It’s better to face the pain of letting go than to hold on to something that consistently diminishes your spirit. When we cling to someone who can’t meet us halfway, we are not only denying our own needs but also preventing ourselves from the opportunity to receive the love we truly deserve.
Facing the Reality of What We Miss
The truth is, we often do not miss the person themselves; rather, we miss the potential of who they could have been. We get caught up in the idea of the love we hoped for—the fantasy of a partner who would make us feel prioritized and safe. We remember glimpses of what could have been, those fleeting moments that felt like everything we ever wanted. But those moments were inconsistent, and hope alone cannot sustain a relationship.
It’s time to stop confusing the dream of what could have been with the reality of who they actually were. It’s easy to romanticize the good times, but holding on to a fantasy keeps us stuck. We need to face the truth: the person we imagined was never truly there, at least not in the consistent, lasting way we needed.
Honoring Your Heart’s Truth
Maybe they showed you neglect, rejection, or simply failed to meet you in the way your heart needed. Deep down, your heart already knew the truth. It’s time to honor that knowing. You deserve someone who brings genuine joy, warmth, and care into your life—someone who sees you, values you, and makes you feel cherished without conditions. Choosing yourself isn’t being selfish, and it certainly isn’t being dramatic. It’s about being true to your worth and standing up for what you genuinely deserve.
Embrace What You Deserve
You are worthy of a love that brings out the best in you—a love that meets you exactly where you are, celebrates you for who you are, and encourages you to grow into the best version of yourself. Don’t settle for someone who doesn’t fully appreciate your value or someone who takes your love for granted. You deserve to be loved without having to fight for a place in someone’s life.
Finding strength to let go is about trusting yourself and believing in a future that holds more joy, fulfillment, and warmth. Letting go isn’t about giving up; it’s about opening yourself to possibilities that bring the kind of love you are worthy of—a love that lifts you, supports you, and values you for the incredible person you truly are.
Stay Resilient and Guard Your Heart
Remain resilient, protect your heart, and know that you deserve a love that uplifts you and stands by you through every high and low. Never let anyone make you feel as though you’re too much or not enough. The right person will see your brilliance and want to share in your journey. Keep your heart guarded until that person comes along—someone who not only adds to your life but enriches every part of it. You deserve nothing less.