All posts by Suzette Lyn Michaelsen

“No Drama Please” – The Dating App Red Flag We Need to Talk About

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Have you been on a dating app lately? I have.

Not because I’m looking for love—I’m perfectly content with my tea, my books, and my quiet evenings—but out of sheer curiosity. I wondered: What happened to all those single guys I swiped left on six years ago? Are they still out there, hopeful and swiping, or have they finally found “the one” and retired their profiles?

So, I resurrected my long-forgotten profile, complete with outdated photos and a quirky bio, purely for investigative purposes. And wow, let me tell you—Tinder did not disappoint. Within moments, I was greeted with the usual suspects: gym selfies, shirtless mirror photos, men holding fish, and the obligatory “I’m just a nice guy looking for a real connection.”

But this time, there was a new layer of visual bragging: “Check out my summer house, my Tesla, my Rolex, and my grand vacation in the Maldives.” Swipe after swipe, I was bombarded with pictures of perfectly staged lives, like their profiles were competing for an award on HGTV: “Best Overcompensation in a Dating App Bio.” I could practically hear the humblebrag captions:

• “Here’s my minimalist living room… with an obvious Rolex in the frame.”

• “This is me next to my Tesla. No big deal.”

• “Just a casual summer at my beach house in the Hamptons.”

Then came the kicker: the phrase I saw repeated like some kind of dating app mantra—“No Drama Please.”

At first, I laughed. Then I rolled my eyes. And then I thought: “Why do so many of these guys feel the need to explicitly say this?” Are they all veterans of chaotic breakups and feel the need to declare their aversion to anything resembling emotion? Did they all attend some kind of seminar titled “How to Attract Women While Subtly Making Them Feel Defensive?”

And then it hit me. This wasn’t a green flag. It wasn’t even a neutral statement. “No Drama Please” screamed red flag—and not just because it was so common. The phrase carried a deeper undertone, one that begged to be unpacked. Because if there’s one thing I’ve learned about people who loudly declare they want to avoid drama, it’s this: they’re often the ones creating it.

What “No Drama” Really Means

1. Avoiding Accountability:

When someone declares they want “no drama,” it’s often code for “I don’t want to take responsibility for my actions.” It translates to:

• “I don’t want to deal with emotions, even when they’re valid.”

• “If there’s conflict, it’s automatically your fault, not mine…… definetely DRAMA”.

Instead of acknowledging that relationships naturally come with complexities, it’s a way to sidestep personal growth or meaningful connection.

2. Emotional Unavailability:

“No drama” can also mean: “I want a relationship, but only if it’s easy, fun, and doesn’t require me to show up emotionally.” These individuals are happy to enjoy the highs of a connection but are likely to check out at the first sign of difficulty.

3. Projecting Past Baggage:

Declaring “no drama” is often a subtle confession: “I’ve been in messy relationships before, and I’m still carrying that baggage.” Rather than working through those experiences, they slap a label on everyone else as the problem.

4. Mislabeling Emotions as Drama:

Sometimes “drama” is just a term for emotional expression. People who write “no drama” in their bios might dismiss healthy communication or emotional needs as “too much.”

Why This Phrase Is So Common

• Cultural Fear of Vulnerability:

In today’s swipe culture, many people prefer to keep things light. Vulnerability is often mistaken for weakness or “drama,” so it’s easier to set an expectation that emotions are unwelcome.

• Social Media Image-Building:

Posing next to a Tesla or on vacation in the Maldives, while adding “no drama” to your profile, creates the illusion of a polished, conflict-free life. It’s all about curating an image—one that might crumble the moment things get real.

• Dating App Exhaustion:

Many people have had frustrating experiences online—ghosting, mismatches, or toxicity. “No drama” might stem from a genuine desire to avoid chaotic situations but ends up sounding like a warning sign instead.

Why “No Drama” Is a Red Flag

1. It Reflects Emotional Immaturity:

Relationships require work, communication, and sometimes conflict resolution. Someone who proclaims “no drama” might be avoiding emotional depth altogether.

2. Drama Is Subjective:

What one person calls “drama” might actually be normal relationship challenges. If someone labels emotions or valid concerns as drama, it could be a sign of dismissiveness or even gaslighting.

3. They Might Be the Source of Drama:

Ironically, people who declare they hate drama often create it. They’re quick to avoid accountability, deflect blame, or exaggerate minor issues.

What to Ask Yourself When You See “No Drama Please”

1. “What does drama mean to them?”

Is it a valid boundary, or are they avoiding responsibility for their own actions?

2. “Why do they feel the need to announce this?”

Are they addressing unresolved baggage, or is it just a phrase they picked up to sound appealing?

3. “Do I want a connection with someone who avoids emotional challenges?”

…. Just a thought

The next time you see “No Drama Please” on a dating profile, pause for a moment. Instead of being a green flag, it might just be a giant neon sign that reads: “Proceed with caution.” Because in the world of Teslas, beach houses, and curated Instagram-worthy lives, the true red flag isn’t the fish photo—it’s the one who’s already decided they can’t handle the real emotions that come with genuine connection.

So, would you swipe left or give them the benefit of the doubt? Let’s talk about it.

Tapping the Subconscious Mind with Dreams

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For years, I’ve been deeply curious about the way our subconscious speaks to us through dreams. Dreams have a mysterious way of weaving together our deepest fears, desires, and truths—sometimes in ways we don’t immediately understand. Recently, I’ve been reflecting on recurring dreams I’ve experienced, and one symbol keeps appearing: the toilet.

This recurring dream has stayed with me, pushing me to explore its meaning and significance. Dreams like these often leave us with more questions than answers, but they are opportunities to look inward, to listen, and to understand the subtle whispers of the subconscious. The toilet, as a dream symbol, has become a gateway for me to reflect on the boundaries I’ve been building in my life and how I navigate my own sense of safety and clarity.

In this particular dream, I found myself in a restroom with several toilets arranged in a circle. I wandered through, carefully inspecting each one, but each toilet I saw was dirty and unusable. I hesitated, unsure which one I could trust to use. Then, I noticed someone—a person I deeply trust—using one of the toilets. When they were done, I decided that this was the one I felt safe enough to use, even though it wasn’t perfectly clean.

This dream speaks volumes about how I approach boundaries and trust. Toilets in dreams often symbolize a release—letting go of something we no longer need, clearing space, or creating boundaries. The dirty toilets represented spaces that felt unsafe, uncomfortable, or untrustworthy. Yet, the toilet used by someone I trusted offered me a sense of safety and familiarity, even if it wasn’t perfect. This reflects my journey of navigating relationships, situations, and opportunities—learning to discern where I feel secure and where I must draw boundaries to protect myself.

Dreams like these remind us of the complex interplay between our waking lives and our subconscious. For me, this recurring symbol of the toilet is about more than just boundaries; it’s a call to reflect on how I prioritize my well-being, how I choose safe spaces, and how I ensure that my choices align with my inner values.

Dream interpretation isn’t about finding definitive answers but about exploring possibilities. It’s about asking ourselves what these symbols represent and how they connect to our emotional and psychological state. For me, this recurring dream has become an invitation to continue the work of building and maintaining boundaries that honor my growth and self-respect.

The Science of Dreams
The field of dream interpretation is one that has intrigued psychologists and researchers for generations. Sigmund Freud, often referred to as the father of psychoanalysis, believed that dreams are the “royal road to the unconscious,” reflecting our repressed desires and hidden fears. Carl Jung expanded on this idea, suggesting that dreams are a window into the collective unconscious and can help individuals discover deeper truths about themselves. Jung emphasized the importance of symbols in dreams, stating that they often represent aspects of our psyche that are seeking balance or integration.

Modern researchers, such as Calvin Hall and Rosalind Cartwright, have also explored how dreams reflect our waking emotions, problem-solving processes, and even memory consolidation. Cartwright, known as the “queen of dreams,” demonstrated through her studies that dreams often help us process unresolved emotional experiences and prepare us for future challenges.

While not all scientists agree on the purpose or significance of dreams, many acknowledge their potential role in emotional and psychological processing. Dreams provide a unique opportunity to reflect on our lives in ways we might not consciously consider, offering insights into our desires, fears, and potential paths for growth.

If you’ve had recurring dreams, I encourage you to pay attention. Dreams often hold a mirror to our inner selves, offering clues about where we are and where we need to go. Like me, you might find that your dreams lead you to deeper understanding and a clearer path forward.