Tag Archives: love

Tell It To My X

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Last Friday, as I was walking down the office corridor, my colleague caught me off guard with a simple but powerful statement: “You are great, Suzette, you should know that.” I smiled at her, but the words that escaped my mouth were laced with years of pain and confusion: “Tell it to my X.”

Her compliment, though genuine and heartfelt, brought back a flood of emotions I’ve been carrying for years. It took me right back to the time when my world fell apart—when I felt like I had lost everything, including my sense of self.

I remember going to work in tears, unable to keep it together. My colleagues, who knew me as someone strong and composed, saw me unravel before their eyes. They did their best to comfort me, but nothing could touch the depth of the sorrow I was feeling. It wasn’t just emotional pain; it was physical. I couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep. Every moment felt like an unbearable weight pressing down on me, reminding me of the loss.

The pain followed me everywhere, even in the most mundane moments. I remember crying while walking through the grocery store, trying to pick out basic necessities, but the grief was overwhelming. Strangers would approach me, asking if I needed help, but how could I explain that the only help I wanted was for the person I loved to come back? I felt so hopeless, so empty. It’s strange to be surrounded by people yet feel so completely alone.

The worst part was the rejection. I kept hoping he would come back, that he would realize the mistake he made, but every attempt I made to reach out was met with silence. Each time he ignored me or turned me away, it felt like another wound being carved into my heart. I was desperate for answers, desperate for the person I thought I’d spend my life with to return, but all I received was rejection after rejection.

The song I wrote about that day

Hitting Rock Bottom

I hit rock bottom, or at least what felt like it. There was no escaping the pain, no moment where I could find relief. I even flew back to the Philippines, seeking the comfort of my family, thinking that distance and being surrounded by love would somehow heal the ache inside me. But even there, the sadness followed me.

At night, I’d lie awake, replaying every moment of our relationship, wondering where it all went wrong. During the day, I’d walk by the shore, watching the waves, hoping they could wash away the weight in my heart. But no matter how far I went or how many loved ones surrounded me, the healing had to come from within—and I wasn’t ready for it yet. I still clung to the hope that he would come back, that somehow, he’d see my worth.

My Struggle

Finding My Way Back

And then, slowly, after what felt like an eternity of tears and heartbreak, I began to find my way back. The pain didn’t disappear overnight, and even today, I still carry pieces of it with me. But I’ve learned that I’m more than the person who was left behind. I am more than the heartbreak that once defined me.

When my colleague told me I was great, it wasn’t just a compliment—it was a reminder. A reminder of everything I’ve been through, everything I’ve survived, and everything I’ve become. Through the sleepless nights, the public tears, the rejection, I had lost sight of my own greatness. But her words brought me back to myself.

I am great. And I don’t need my ex to tell me that. I don’t need his validation, his approval, or his return to know my worth. I’ve spent too long trying to make someone else see what I already possess inside.

Moving Forward

Now, he’s trying to come back, acting as though the years of heartache and rejection were nothing more than a passing storm. But I’m not the same person who was left behind. I’m not the same person who cried in the grocery store, hoping for his return. I’m not the same person who couldn’t eat or sleep because of the overwhelming pain.

Yes, I still carry some of the scars, and yes, the hurt doesn’t just disappear. But I’m stronger now. I’m more self-aware, more protective of my heart. I’m no longer waiting for his validation. I’m no longer holding my breath for someone else’s recognition.

My colleague‘S words reminded me that I’ve always been enough, even when I couldn’t see it myself. And that’s the version of me I’m holding onto as I move forward, stronger and more resilient than ever before. I’ve learned that my worth doesn’t depend on anyone else’s perception of me, and I don’t need someone else to come back into my life to tell me that I’m great.

So when people tell me I’m great, I’ll smile, and I’ll believe it. And I Will keep responding with this “Tell it to my X!”.

Detaching from a Toxic Relationship

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In the journey of life, relationships are meant to nurture, support, and enrich our existence. However, not all relationships serve these positive purposes. Some can become toxic, draining our energy, self-esteem, and peace of mind. Detaching from a toxic relationship is often a challenging but necessary step toward healing and reclaiming control over your life. This article will explore what it means to be in a toxic relationship, the importance of detachment, and the steps you can take to free yourself from such bonds.

Understanding Toxic Relationships

A toxic relationship is one where the interactions between individuals are harmful, destructive, and emotionally draining. These relationships can occur between romantic partners, friends, family members, or even colleagues. Common characteristics of toxic relationships include:

•   Manipulation: One person tries to control or influence the other through deceit or coercion.

•   Lack of Support: The relationship lacks mutual respect, trust, and encouragement.

•   Consistent Negativity: The relationship is dominated by criticism, hostility, or negativity.

•   Emotional Abuse: This includes behaviors like gaslighting, where one person denies the other’s reality, leading to confusion and self-doubt.

•   Dependency: The relationship may foster unhealthy dependency, where one or both parties are overly reliant on each other for emotional or physical needs.

The Need for Detachment

Detaching from a toxic relationship is essential for your mental, emotional, and sometimes physical well-being. Staying in such a relationship can lead to long-term consequences, including anxiety, depression, and a diminished sense of self-worth. Detachment is not about abandoning responsibility or being indifferent; it’s about creating healthy boundaries, reclaiming your power, and prioritizing your well-being.

Steps to Detach from a Toxic Relationship

1. Acknowledge the Toxicity:

The first step in detaching is recognizing that the relationship is toxic. This involves honest self-reflection and sometimes accepting painful truths about someone you care about. Acknowledge how the relationship makes you feel and the negative impact it has on your life.


2. Set Boundaries:
Establish clear boundaries that protect your emotional and mental health. This might mean limiting contact, avoiding certain topics of conversation, or being firm about what behaviors you will not tolerate. Boundaries are crucial in reducing the influence the toxic person has over you.


3. Seek Support:
Detaching from a toxic relationship can be emotionally exhausting and isolating. Reach out to trusted friends, family, or a therapist who can provide support, guidance, and a safe space to express your feelings. Support groups, both online and offline, can also be beneficial.


4. Focus on Self-Care:
Prioritize activities that nurture your mind, body, and spirit. Engage in hobbies, exercise, meditation, and other practices that bring you joy and peace. Self-care helps rebuild your self-esteem and reinforces the importance of your well-being.


5. Practice Emotional Detachment:
Emotional detachment doesn’t mean being cold or indifferent; it’s about taking a step back and not letting the toxic person’s actions or words dictate your emotions. Practice mindfulness and meditation to help manage your emotional responses and maintain inner peace.


6. Evaluate the Relationship:
Consider whether the relationship is salvageable with changes or whether it’s time to end it. If the toxic behaviors persist despite efforts to improve the situation, it may be necessary to cut ties completely. Ending a toxic relationship can be difficult, but sometimes it’s the only way to fully detach and move forward.


7. Develop a Plan for Moving Forward:
If you decide to end the relationship, plan your next steps carefully. This may involve logistical considerations, especially if you share living space, finances, or children. Ensure you have a support system in place as you transition out of the relationship.


8. Rebuild Your Life:
After detaching from a toxic relationship, focus on rebuilding your life. Reconnect with old friends, pursue new interests, and invest time in your personal growth. The goal is to rediscover your identity and happiness independent of the toxic person.


9. Stay Committed to Your Decision:
It’s natural to feel moments of doubt or to be tempted to return to the toxic relationship. Stay committed to your decision by reminding yourself why you chose to detach and the benefits you’ve gained since then. Journaling can be a helpful tool to track your progress and reinforce your commitment.

Detaching from a toxic relationship is a powerful act of self-love and empowerment. It allows you to break free from the cycle of negativity and reclaim control over your life. While the process can be challenging, it’s also an opportunity for growth, healing, and the creation of healthier relationships in the future. Remember that you deserve to be surrounded by people who uplift and support you, and by detaching from toxicity, you open the door to a more fulfilling and peaceful life.