For years, I felt like I was a supporting character in someone else’s story. My life was shaped by what others wanted me to be—fitting into roles, fulfilling expectations, and adapting to standards that were never mine to begin with. But somewhere along the way, I began to ask myself: What about me? What do I want? Who am I when I’m not trying to please everyone else?

It wasn’t a revelation that came all at once. It was a quiet, gradual process—a patchwork of moments where I chose to reclaim a little more of myself. A day when I decided that jogging pants and no makeup were enough to step out into the world. An afternoon spent designing my home, letting my favorite colors and retro-modern style take center stage. A realization that I didn’t need validation from a new bag, a perfect Instagram photo, or anyone’s approval.

This journey wasn’t just about breaking free from what others expected. It was about finding joy in simplicity and discovering that the small, everyday things—like a favorite series on Monday nights or the satisfaction of knowing I did well at work—were enough to make me feel whole.

The Process of Becoming Me  

It started with boundaries. I began to say no to things that didn’t align with my values or made me feel small. Relationships that drained me or took away my sense of self had to go. Instead, I focused on the things that felt authentic—my creativity, my passions, and the sanctuary of my home.

I let go of the need for external validation. This wasn’t easy; for years, I had tied my happiness to what others thought of me. But slowly, I realized that validation from others is fleeting, while the validation I give myself lasts.

I embraced imperfection. Life isn’t about having it all figured out, and neither am I. Philosophers like Søren Kierkegaard remind us that “Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.” Reflecting on my past helped me understand where I’d been, but it was the forward momentum—creating a life on my own terms—that brought me peace.

Reflections on Being Me  

Now, when I look around my life, I see me. My home reflects my personality—vibrant, unique, and full of life. My choices reflect my values—simplicity, independence, and authenticity. And most importantly, my heart reflects peace.

It isn’t always easy. Doubts creep in, as they always will, but they no longer define me. I’ve learned that being me isn’t about perfection; it’s about presence. It’s about showing up for myself, embracing the quiet joy of an unremarkable day, and knowing that who I am is enough.

In the words of Carl Jung, “The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.” And now, finally, I am.