Tag Archives: life

Non-Negotiable Pact

Tonight, as I stood in my kitchen, the soft glow of warm light and the familiar hum of cooking turned into a moment of stillness and reflection. In the calm of that space, I found myself thinking deeply about what truly matters to me. Beyond the rush of everyday routines, beyond the demands and distractions, I realized that life feels most meaningful when it’s centered around certain core values—values that act like anchors, steadying me through every experience, every choice, every moment of growth.

In that quiet moment, I made a promise to myself. I decided that, moving forward, three qualities would be non-negotiable in my life: empathy, respect, and accountability. These are more than ideals; they’re commitments to myself. They remind me that my well-being is worth protecting and that my journey deserves to be guided by principles that reflect my deepest values. These non-negotiables are like a compass, helping me stay true to who I am and creating a life that’s grounded, peaceful, and fulfilling.

Here’s why empathy, respect, and accountability matter so deeply to me, and how they shape the way I move through the world.

1. Empathy

Why It’s Essential: Empathy is the ability to step outside of my own experiences and imagine life through someone else’s eyes. It’s more than kindness; it’s a deep connection that fosters understanding and validates emotions. In a world where connections can often feel rushed or surface-level, empathy brings a sense of depth and presence, a feeling of being fully seen and understood.

In Practice: Choosing empathy means actively cultivating an open heart. It means listening fully, not just with my ears but with my attention, with my whole self. Empathy allows me to hold space for the diversity of human experience, to recognize that we all carry our own joys and challenges. It’s about showing up without judgment, meeting others and myself with compassion, and allowing that understanding to shape my actions.

For me, empathy is about emotional honesty. It’s a way of creating a safe and supportive space, not just for others but within myself. When I live with empathy, I feel more connected to the world around me, aware of the ways we’re all interwoven. And that sense of connection, of shared humanity, makes life richer and more meaningful.

2. Respect

Why It’s Essential: Respect is the foundation of all positive interactions and experiences. It’s about valuing boundaries, honoring differences, and recognizing the unique worth of each individual, including myself. Respect isn’t just about politeness or decorum; it’s about fostering a sense of dignity and appreciation in every interaction. It acknowledges that every perspective holds value, and that honoring these differences is what creates harmony.

In Practice: Prioritizing respect means nurturing an environment where each person feels valued for who they are, where individuality is celebrated, and where boundaries are honored. This commitment to respect starts with me; it’s about learning to trust my own boundaries, to speak up for my needs, and to treat myself with kindness.

Respect is also about creating a space where others feel safe to express themselves. It’s a commitment to seeing people fully, to letting go of judgment, and to understanding that kindness and acceptance go hand-in-hand. When I live with respect, I feel empowered and grounded, knowing that I am honoring both myself and those around me.

3. Accountability

Why It’s Essential: Accountability means taking responsibility for my actions, showing up with consistency, and being willing to grow. It’s the glue that holds empathy and respect together because, without accountability, intentions lose their weight. Accountability creates trust, showing that I am committed to learning from my experiences and to becoming a better version of myself with each step forward.

In Practice: Living with accountability means owning my actions, both the good and the challenging. It’s about recognizing when I make mistakes, reflecting on how I can improve, and following through on my promises to myself and others. Accountability keeps me grounded and honest, reminding me that my words and actions matter and that I am always capable of positive change.

For me, accountability is about showing up consistently and authentically, even when it’s uncomfortable. It’s a reminder that growth requires honesty, that meaningful change is a journey, not a quick fix. And this willingness to take responsibility, to learn, and to evolve creates a sense of stability and self-trust that guides me through every part of life.

A Guiding Force for Living Fully

These three non-negotiables—empathy, respect, and accountability—are more than just values. They’re a reflection of my self-worth, of the life I want to lead, and of the person I strive to become. They’re boundaries that protect my energy, keep me connected to my true self, and remind me of the importance of living with intention and integrity.

Tonight, I made a quiet promise to myself in the comfort of my kitchen. I decided to carry these values forward in everything I do, trusting that they will help me create a life that is genuine, peaceful, and full of meaning. Because I deserve a life that honors my journey, reflects my worth, and helps me grow into the best version of myself. By choosing these qualities, I am not only shaping the life I want to live but also becoming the person I want to be.

Uniquely for Me

Seventeen years have passed since I last sat across from my father, a quiet afternoon in the Philippines, my shop bustling just outside. He had come to visit, as he often did, not only to see me but to indulge in what had become a cherished ritual: a reflection brainstorming session. This wasn’t a simple catch-up; it was a sacred exchange. He would listen deeply, absorbing my thoughts and questions, his face softening as he flipped through my journals, sometimes chuckling at my musings, sometimes pausing, lost in his own reveries. My father was my reflection partner, my philosophical guide. His presence made life feel less like a mystery and more like a shared journey.

Me at my shop

After he passed, something essential faded with him. Reflection became harder, and I slowly lost interest in this practice that had once brought such profound meaning. I stopped writing, stopped asking myself those deeper questions that had once been our shared pastime. Without my father’s gentle guidance, the path forward seemed uncertain. Yet recently, an old yearning resurfaced—a desire to reignite the practice he and I once shared. I made a quiet promise to myself: I would return to the habits I once held dear, to reflect and contemplate as he had taught me. Even in his absence, I would seek him in my thoughts, in the pages of my journal, in the quiet pauses of my day.

Now, I take moments for reflection two or three times a day, pen in hand, as I sift through the day’s experiences, searching for meaning, for insight. Today, it dawned on me with fresh clarity: my journey, with its highs and lows, its quiet moments and stormy seasons, is uniquely my own. It may not look perfect; it’s not always steady, nor is it always easy. But it is mine. Designed, perhaps, by forces unseen, or perhaps by my own decisions, this journey has been woven with threads of challenges, growth, love, and self-discovery. And somehow, I can feel my father’s presence in these moments of reflection, as if he’s sitting beside me once more.

2015, I got an insight about “lLife’s journey ”

The Journey of Life: A Philosophical Exploration

Each life is a journey, a unique tapestry woven with the threads of every choice, every experience, and every inner revelation. The ancient philosophers taught that to live a fulfilled life, one must engage in continuous self-reflection, a practice not merely of thinking but of becoming. Socrates famously said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” Yet, in a world full of distractions and external demands, genuine self-reflection has become an almost lost art. Reconnecting with this practice, as I have, feels like both a return to my roots and a homecoming to my true self.

This journey of mine, with its exhilarating highs and deep valleys, echoes the idea of the “hero’s journey” as articulated by Joseph Campbell. In every person’s life, Campbell believed, there exists a call to adventure—a moment where one chooses to embark on a path toward self-discovery and transformation. My call came with the reawakening of my father’s teachings, the memory of our conversations calling me back to a life lived more fully, more intentionally. Each day, as I write, I confront the trials and the treasures within my life’s journey. And in doing so, I am continually transformed.

To reflect on life is, in a sense, to transcend the immediate and connect with something larger. Philosophers like Søren Kierkegaard believed that life is understood backward but must be lived forward. My journey, full of ups and downs, becomes clearer in retrospect, as if each experience leaves a breadcrumb for me to trace back and rediscover the lessons embedded in it. And while some experiences may seem painful or confusing, they are each integral parts of a larger design. Kierkegaard believed that these moments of “either/or” define us—where every choice becomes a step along a path uniquely ours, a journey that we alone must tread.

This journey is not just about reaching a destination but about engaging deeply with each experience, every success, and setback. Aristotle’s concept of eudaimonia—flourishing or the “good life”—emphasizes that true fulfillment comes not from external achievements but from the cultivation of inner virtues. As I reflect daily, I recognize that my worth is not in reaching a state of perfection but in striving, learning, and growing through life’s inevitable imperfections.

The practice of reflection has become, for me, both a way of reconnecting with my father and a method of building resilience. Viktor Frankl, the renowned psychologist and Holocaust survivor, spoke of “tragic optimism”—the ability to find meaning even amidst suffering. I realize that, like Frankl, I have the power to transform my struggles into sources of strength. Frankl’s philosophy reminds me that I am not defined by life’s hardships but by my response to them. Reflection allows me to reclaim my story, to see even the painful chapters as essential to my growth.

Through this journey of reflection, I am reminded of the ancient Stoics who taught that true freedom is found within. Marcus Aurelius, the Stoic philosopher-emperor, wrote, “You have power over your mind—not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” Life’s unpredictability is inevitable, but by cultivating resilience and perspective through self-reflection, I find a grounding force that anchors me amidst life’s storms. This journey is mine to shape, and while I cannot control every event, I can choose how to respond.

A Unique Path, A Timeless Truth

In reconnecting with my past, with my father’s memory, and with this practice of reflection, I have rediscovered a truth that runs through the wisdom of ages: that life’s meaning is not found in certainty or security, but in the courage to journey through the unknown. My journey is my own—a narrative uniquely shaped by every joy, every sorrow, and every reflection that has woven its way into my soul.

My father’s legacy lives on in these moments of contemplation, as his spirit guides me to become not only the person he hoped I would be but also someone I am proud to be. I see now that the life designed for me, with all its complexity, is a gift. And each day, as I write and reflect, I embrace this journey, grateful for its uniqueness, its unpredictability, and its endless potential for growth.

This journey is a reminder of the timeless dance between the self and the universe, a journey where every step is part of a grander design, one that, perhaps, was meant only for me.